Let's face it, existentialism in no stranger to us. In fact, I don't know about you, but it seems to hit us at the most unexpected times! If you have no idea what I'm talking about because you've never experienced it, then count yourself lucky. Because it sucks.
All of my existentialism usually revolves around psychology. Thinking about thinking just makes me feel...I don't know...small? This is one of the main causes to why I can't fall asleep at night, pay attention in class sometimes, and even fail to do daily tasks. Sometimes, someone would be talking to me, and I would just be confused and distracted. "Oh! I'm sorry! I was just thinking about how you don't matter and I don't matter and how NOTHING MATTERS." That's usually my initial thought when they snap me out of my day dream.
This is what usually goes on in my head when those times come:
"Okay, Hoi Ching. Go to sleep now. You've got school tomorrow, and a big English project to prepare for. Wait. Come to think of it, my room is pretty big. And the house is pretty big. Hong Kong is big. The world is big. With 7 billion people on it. OH GOD I AM JUST ONE MIND OUT OF 7 BILLION OTHER MINDS. AND I'M NOT EVEN COUNTING THE ALIENS YET. DARN THOSE ALIENS ARE PROBABLY SMARTER THAN I AM. OH NO THE UNIVERSE IS SO HUGE. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS BUNDLE OF SQUISHY NERVE CELLS IN MY HEAD. WHAT IS THE POINT OF LIFE. IS THERE NO POINT? NOTHING MATTERS ANY MORE."
Funny enough, it's 11pm right now and I can't sleep. Guess why. So instead, I'm blogging about how I can't sleep.
Gosh. It's difficult to study psychology and not fall into an existential crisis.